How To Stop Giving A F*ck
A Simple Guide To Protect Your Energy
The trick is to accept that you do give a f*ck but then replace that with something worth more of a f*ck to give.
I was laid off from my job like many of us in 2020. The person I was a few years ago would’ve panicked. Or maybe put on a front as if everything’s all good. Or maybe both.
Funny, now I have people questioning if I take my life seriously because I don’t react to situations in the same manner. It’s okay, I’m not brushing off my responsibilities. I’ve just learned to embrace that life happens and I’m genuinely okay.
The problem is many of us are unaware of how to properly manage our energy or ignore triggers which simply results in unnecessary stress. Panicking over an outcome outside my control is comedy. And I don’t know about y’all but anytime someone has told me “I don’t care,” they were always drowning in feelings. Neither overreacting or pretending you don’t care are beneficial.
The secret is understanding we’re not robots but emotional beings. Understand how to protect your energy by channeling those emotions appropriately.
Acknowledge that you do care, accept the emotions which come with that, and release those emotions. Meaning immediately think of possible solutions so you no longer feel that way. Replace the negative vibes with something positive. Or as I like to say, catch & release.
And you would simply keep practicing those same habits for each situation you encounter.
But here are some potential mindset shifts to consider to help you protect your energy so you can really not give a f*ck.
Expect Nothing, Appreciate Everything
Expect Nothing — share your gifts, knowledge and overall essence with the world because it’s who you are.
Appreciate Everything — be prepared to accept all that is deserved from lessons to connecting with the right people.
Being real with yourself and accepting life’s experiences set the foundation for protecting your energy. Expectations are for the birds. We can’t control desired outcomes so why have expectations in the first place. This doesn’t mean you begin to lack effort in everything you do but accept that “it is what it is” and be unapologetically you. #bars
Detachment
This can easily be perceived as a negative approach but really the purpose behind this is to understand and accept a few things:
- Detachment doesn’t mean being distant from everything, but rather being close to everything and not letting it consume you. The goal here is to find internal peace. Any external conditions will not make or break you. Those experiences exist to complement your life or teach.
2. Practice adopting an objective perspective. Your reactions dictate how much of an effect given situations will have on you. It’s important to recognize when our emotions exaggerate the details of certain outcomes.
Personal Example: I’ve been putting out videos on YouTube and haven’t received the type of engagement I want.
Emotional Repsonse: Maybe I should quit. This isn’t for me.
Objective Response: Let’s evaluate what needs to be improved and adjust.
By evaluating this experience objectively, I remain focused on the process rather than the outcome. The pronoun “me” can fit into any equation. The outcome for this particular experience does not make or break me.
When the universe senses that external conditions hold value over “me”, you’ve already lost.
You bring value to things, they don’t bring value to you.
This is why social media exposes bad parenting or how many claim money is the root of all evil. Social media isn’t toxic nor did money make you arrogant and condescending. These external conditions expose our true value.
Detach external conditions from internal value. Don’t judge the outcome and fall in love with the process. Live in the moment and focus on what you can control!
Don’t go with the flow, Be the flow
I first want to address the difference using an analogy. Going with the flow implies that you’re trend surfing. Being the flow is creating the trend.
In order to be the flow, you have to practice self-awareness. That’s dedicating time to figure out your genuine interests and triggers. But most importantly identifying your values.
Attract what’s meant for you. The message you send out to the universe weighs a lot on the type of responses you receive from natural life experiences. It’s just like a relationship, whom you attract is a reflection of you. And in that same sense, experiences you attract are a direct reflection of your spiritual energy.
If you happen to attract experiences that don’t match your values, being able to quickly recognize that, redirect your energy, and focus on what’s meant for you is really the secret to “Don’t go with the flow, be the flow.”
We may not be able to control certain outcomes but we can control our reactions and the process set in place to achieve a more favorable outcome.
Seek Out Failure
Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Seeking failure is something that helps you embrace a real carefree attitude. And when I say seek failure, I mean make love to uncertainty. Realize it is what you make it, be comfortable being uncomfortable, and embrace mistakes as quickly as possible. This is necessary to learn, adapt and grow.
Failure can’t be avoided even if we stay in our little bubble because even then we’re failing to progress. So we might as well fail in a way that’s beneficial to our growth.
Those who don’t care about failure and embrace it control the flow of their energy instead of allowing their choices to be overwhelmed by “what if” scenarios.
Positive vibes only: What if it works out?
High For Life
I was often told growing up “it’s all good” or “okay, what are you going to do about it?” And I went from naturally caring too much which transitioned to this phase of numbness. Both are two extremes on different ends of the spectrum. The key here is to find a balance.
I used to feel like there was always something happening in life when things seem to be going well. And through experience I realized, that’s not a feeling but a fact. But through each of the elements listed above, over time I adapted a natural high for life.
I was able to accept that things in life will continue to happen whether good or bad because that’s just how life is. The real power is becoming a master of your own energy which will determine what type of experiences you have. And having the ability to channel your energy in a more positive, healthy way.
